with the time on my hands.

in timely fashion a time in my life has come to reflect and kinda stew in my past and mistakes. bringing up old feelings and old pain but more to be dealt with not to cauz probs. i have a lot of things i wish i could say to a lot of people and its hard holding on to that for a wile. writing is the only thing keeping me going at this point. i don't talk about it and i think that's a big reason my poems don't reflect my mood of life as it is. but its been amazing to step back and see whats coming of all this. who knows whats left in me or my life for that matter,i never like to put limits on myself but on the other hand i cant help hold myself to standers most people will never understand. making this step in my life is just that a step going forward moving on,leaving the old and past as they stand being the old and in the past. i wouldn't say life's at a crossroads more like a windy road with a lot of fog and pitch black.but i would rather have this than anything else. I've got love,happiness,life and all the existing things yet to be.Life right now is at a good point but good isn't really good enough i know i prob am crazy to go from life's good to life's not just what i want in one line but really.....i remember as a kid dreading a moment in life like....dentist or shots but now i find myself dreading like points in my life yet to come. half of me wonders if its gonna be that bad and that I'm building it up to much and the other half wonders if ill ever recover after. i know this is kinda a novel so if you've gotten this far I'm impressed. good job!! but this is kinda me here and now. today's been kinda hard its getting to the point were i cant be alone with myself anymore its a scary thought one I'm not wanting to think about right now.



i doubt anyone will read this but i hope u kinda know me a little deeper but im just glad to get this off my chest and mind.lol k im outta here.